piano_diva (piano_diva) wrote in 2008_newlyweds,

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Is it wrong for me to ask my husband not to do something though he enjoys it or it means something to him, if i dont like it? I feel like I'm trying to change him or control him and I dont like it, and I've told him that. He says he'll stop if I dont like it, but I dont feel it's right for me to ask him to stop... I feel guilty.

I just don't know what to do...

Its two different things: The first one is his pipe smoking... I knew he did but only on special occaisions like his birthday and christmas, he didnt even have a pipe but wanted to buy one on our honeymoon and celebrate us getting married. I don't like smoking, I don't like kissing someone after they've smoked, I dont like the habit... I just don't like it. It's unhealthy. Granted, pipe smoking smells better than any other kind of smoking, but I still don't like it. I didnt let him get one on our honeymoon but I felt guilty for doing that cuz he's done it for years and it's only two or three times a year that he wants to smoke it. So... I went out with him and bought him a pipe last week and some tobacco to smoke it... of course he wanted to smoke it... so I let him. And 2 times since then. It just bothers me. I wish he didn't but I feel bad asking him not to do it.

The second one is a tattoo. I knew he wanted to get one on his arm, but he wasnt seriously considering it. Again, I don't like tattoos. I know they're important if they're meaningful, which this would be...

I know I probably sound like a tight wad, but I fell in love with him because he's clean cut, doesnt smoke, doesnt drink... and now I feel like he's slowly becoming opposite of that. I feel like I don't really know him anymore.

He should be able to do whatever he wants, I just wish he wouldnt. And I feel guilty asking him not too.

Am I just being too controlling?
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